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How to deal with Fear

Posted on December 17, 2020 at 3:35 PM





19 years ago when we all were much younger, I was involved in 9-11. That was one of the scariest times of my life and of many in the United States


This event was beyond FEAR it was TERROR and it Froze me for a period of time.  Fear had overcome me with the unknown.


There are a number of fear that we all deal with in life, to just name a few:


a. Fear of unknown


b. Fear of relationships


c. Fear of Failure


d. Fear of criticism


e. Fear making a decision


f. Fear of not measuring up


What other fears do people have that are difficult


How does one even start when something hits them?


D. We are way out of comfort zone

Have you ever had a personal time in your life that was fearful?



Covid has been a good thing to look out on the topic of fear.

Some countries are going through a rough time and the US has gone through difficulties


I have watched some become so scared that they will not go anywhere and pretty much stay in their bedroom.

Others pretend it is not real and deny there is a problem. This leads them to do foolish things like taking no precautions.  They become SO AFRAID OF FAILING and DECIDED NOT TO TRY.  

Fear of failing has subconsciously led many  to undetermine their own efforts.

Many of us have probably experienced this at one time or another. The fear of failing can be immobilizing – it can cause us to do nothing, and therefore resist moving forward. But when we allow fear to stop our forward progress in life, we're likely to miss some great opportunities along the way.

We all have different definitions of failure, simply because we all have different benchmarks, values, and belief systems. A failure to one person might simply be a great learning experience for someone else.

Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. But fear of failure is when we allow that fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals.


It's almost impossible to go through life without experiencing some kind of failure. People who do so probably live so cautiously that they go nowhere. Put simply, they're not really living at all.

But, the wonderful thing about failure is that it's entirely up to us to decide how to look at it.

We can choose to see failure as "the end of the world," or as proof of just how inadequate we are. Or, we can look at failure as the incredible learning experience that it often is. Every time we fail at something, we can choose to look for the lesson we're meant to learn. These lessons are very important; they're how we grow, and how we keep from making that same mistake again. Failures stop us only if we let them.

How to Stop Living in Fear

If you are afraid of failure, you might be uncomfortable setting goals . But goals help us define where we want to go in life. Without goals, we have no sure destination.

Try visualization this is a powerful tool for goal setting. Imagining how life will be after you've reached your goal is a great motivator to keep you moving forward.

Start by setting a few small goals . These should be goals that are slightly, but not overwhelmingly, challenging. Think of these goals as "early wins" that are designed to help boost your confidence. So you are saying that the very thing we do not want to do you should do it first.

For example, if you've been too afraid to talk to the new department head (who has the power to give you the promotion you want), then make that your first goal. Plan to stop by her office during the next week to introduce yourself.

Or, imagine that you've dreamed of returning to school to get your MBA, but you're convinced that you're not smart enough to be accepted into business school. Set a goal to talk with a school counselor or admissions officer to see what's required for admission.

Try to make your goals tiny steps on the route to much bigger goals. Don't focus on the end picture: getting the promotion, or graduating with an MBA. Just focus on the next step: introducing yourself to the department head, and talking to an admissions officer. That's it.

Taking one small step at a time will help build your confidence, keep you moving forward, and prevent you from getting overwhelmed with visions of your final goal.

It's important to realize that in everything we do, there's always a chance that we'll fail. Facing that chance, and embracing it, is not only courageous – it also gives us a fuller, more rewarding life.

Reducing FEAR:

• Analyze all potential outcomes – Many people experience fear of failure because they fear the unknown. Remove that fear by considering all of the potential outcomes of your decision.

• Learn to think more positively – Positive thinking is an incredibly powerful way to build self-confidence and neutralize self-sabotage.

• Look at the worse-case scenario – In some cases, the worst case scenario may be genuinely disastrous, and it may be perfectly rational to fear failure

• Have a contingency plan – If you're afraid of failing at something, having a "Plan B" in place can help you feel more confident about moving forward.




How to have an effective meeting

Posted on August 1, 2018 at 10:50 AM


We all wonder at times as a leader is anyone listening to us?  Ask yourself, am I providing any value to others?  If not, then people are not listening to you and if they are not listening then most likely they are not following.  

As a leader; if you don't have any followers then you are not a leader! Let's start out with a simple plan on how to gain the attention of your staff, team, organization, etc.  We must provide influence to others and allow them to see the entire picture of our vision.  This start by establishing an Effective Meeting. Start with establishing a purpose of the meeting.  This is often forgotten or taken for granted by the leader to explain the reason for the meeting. Focus on the content and topics that support the meeting and do not waiver with other miscellaneous items that can get off topic.  Make the meeting legitimate with all participants.  If you can't write down the purpose of the meeting then do not hold the meeting.

Here are some things that are overlooked at times:  1.  Select Discipliners.  Someone to hold the meeting in check and bring everyone back to the topic either than yourself.  This brings ownership. 2.  Select team of participants that will be in the meeting.  Again, an effective meeting should be made up of those that have a portion of responsibility to what the meeting is about.  Having the entire organization or too many can really cause major distractions. 3.  Determine the size of the facility or room needed for the meeting and resources that will need to be used, such as; overhead projectors, Connectivity, TV monitors, podium.  Ensure the facility or room is available when you have scheduled the meeting and by all means, make sure all your people are available to attend.   Once established begin with agenda items - solicit from team members and prime with suggestions so that it will provide ownership to those in attendance.  This is not your meeting.  Remember, in order to get buy-in or ownership it has to be a team meeting.  You are only facilitating.  So now the leader should send the invites with only pertinent information.  Do not water it down or give too much information.  

Give the following info:   Purpose, Proposed agenda, Time - beginning to end, Location and of course the date. The day of the meeting make sure you welcome and appreciate all to the meeting and say how important there role is part of this meeting for success of the team.  Give an opening statement and allow time for it to sink in and then follow it up with introductions of all in attendance and their responsibility.  Make sure that you have posted the purpose of the meeting on all the walls of your meeting room to show the importance.  Establish note a note taking process to capture the important discussion so nothing gets overlooked or forgotten.  Before you begin, verify the agenda and be able to hold the participants to the agenda! Layout the rules:

Participants Responsibility - Provide content,  Establish rules -don't attack.

Facilitators Role:  Content process - Contributionsof participants, Equal airtime, Tool applications, Timelines, Interactions.

As the Faciliatator or Leader of the meeting here are some notes to self.  If possible switch facilitators so expertise can contribute.  Stand up and shut up.  This allows you to sit down and let discussion flow.  Monitor the resources and flip charts or powerpoint.

Make sure that you have discussed with all the particiapants an overtime limit should the meeting go beyound what was planned!

When ending the meeting it is very important to provide a summary of the meeting prior to all leaving.  Make sure that action plans have been established and individuals have been assigned for next meeting or follow-up to open ended questions of tasks.  Provide the activity that will be necessary to accomplish and the person who will be responsible and lastly ensure those assigned are comfortable with teh deadline date and are agreeable to it.  

Finally, open the floor for final questions.  St up the following meeting if needed.  

THrough experience,the more you value others time the more effective you will be as a leader and conducting effective meetings.


Training Class on Communication Techniques

Posted on May 10, 2018 at 1:25 PM

Learn to Improve Your Communication Skills (You will need this both personally and at work.) Effective communication sounds like it should be instinctive, but all too often, when we try to communicate with others something goes astray. We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue. Effective communication is about more than just exchanging information. It’s about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. As well as being able to clearly convey a message, you need to also listen in a way that gains the full meaning of what’s being said and makes the person feel heard and understood.

Join us for a 6-Week Study on how to develop these skills to improve your influence as a leader to others.

Cost: $125.00 this includes all course materials, handouts, and a certificate upon completion.

When: – 7pm-8:30pm. Thursdays: 6/7, 6/14, 6/21, 6/28, 7/12, 7/19

Where: BCM; 819 Main Street, Columbia. Teacher: Reid R. Radtke, an experienced international leader who has taught leadership development for over 20 years and is certified in leadership through John Maxwell.

What you will learn: • Demonstrate the competencies needed to effectively communicate with others. • Identify who you are as a communicator and how to improve to be a real influence. • Develop a road map for communication development. • Understand the difference between communication and connecting (true influence). • Relate better to those you do business with by understanding what motivates. • Compound team production by coaching and mentoring your staff. • Establish deliberate habits successful leaders use to grow on a daily basis.

TeamWork leads to success

Posted on May 8, 2018 at 7:50 AM

In life, Help and encouragement from others leads to success!

How to meet your Dreams

Posted on April 27, 2018 at 1:55 PM

I don't think there is anyone who does not want to improve, to grow, to learn more on how to become successful.  We all want it but few of us know how or even make the effort.  We almost expect it to drop in our lap just because we work hard.  Let me explain something.  Just working hard is not going to guarantee you success.  It takes intentional focus and commitment every day.  So, what does that look like?  Many of us say we want success but we fail to lead our own life.  We just accept it for being what it is and never change.  Focus happens when you write a personal growth plan with specific steps on how you intend to meet your goals.  Then you commit to this plan EVERYDAY!  Remember, nothing worthwhile is easy and everything worthwhile is an uphill grind.  It is hard work, sweat and tears.  There is no coasting it you want to achieve your dreams or goals.  You must be deliberate, consistent and willful in order for you to succeed. No one gains success by accident. You just don’t wake up one day and have success dropped in your lap. It requires effort and consistency. If I can give any advice on how to achieve success or your goals it would be for you to be intentional with your planning and development of a personal growth plan. Start by listing 10 things you need to do and then prioritize them. Focus on the top 2 items and you will gain 80% of your return. Every day be committed and focus on these things and over time you will begin to see a change in your habits and you will understand three specific things: 1. What is required of me. 2. What gives me my greatest return. 3. What is my greatest reward. As you continue to do these things every day. I mean everyday. You will see a change come over you and your attitude will become a strength of positive reinforcement. You must be tenacious and not give up. You will be tested in difficult times and you must push through these tough times. No one can change you. You can only change yourself. This is where you will be changed as attitude only counts during tough times. This is where you will find that your attitude makes a difference in your success or failure. I have discovered that many do not know how to find their purpose and therefore they give up. Be intentional about your purpose. Find out what you are passionate about. Find out what you are good at and match your strengths to your passion. If it is not your strength then make it your hobby and not your career. Strength will direct you to your purpose. Once you discover your purpose then be intentional every day with your growth plan to live it, breathe it and accomplish it. Everyday I do 5 things to help me meet my goals. 1. I provide value to others by listening and supporting their efforts. I learn what is on their hearts and I connect with them to help them meet their goals or answer their questions. 2. I discover ways to help those in my life that are struggling by listening to their needs and offering suggestions. I continue to try new ways to provide value to them. 3. I am always thinking of process improvement that will help others and value their needs. 4. I never stop encouraging them positively through tough situations; whether it is success or failure. 5. I am intentional about my faith every day and present and act consistently in an honorable way to provide value to others. Living intentionally and setting life growth plans is the first start to success or achieving your dreams. Then EVERYDAY being consistent and focused on these steps, you will be rewarded with success!

How to achieve success

Posted on April 26, 2018 at 4:15 PM

Here are 3 simple truth to success. I call it the 3 P's:

PEOPLE - People are always first in any organization. Support them. Mentor them and value them.

PROCESS - Lay out and lead the plan on how to proceed. Collaborate to ensure it is effective.

PERFORMANCE - Provide your people with the right tools and equip them for success.

Interviewing Skills

Posted on April 8, 2018 at 5:10 PM

Join us on April 27th at University of South Carolina as we present Interviewing techniques, Resume writing and learning how to answer questions when preparing for your career.

Leadership Training Class

Posted on February 7, 2018 at 3:40 PM

How do you achieve success?  Leadership Seminar starting Wednesday, 21st.  Are you interested in learning how to improve your influence of others.  Contact us now..